Skip to main content

Hope is the Air I breathe

Commentary: Summer 2006

Okay, as a result of playing around foolishly on my bike three weeks ago now, I'm off the bike for pretty much the rest of the summer, and of course that sucks.

Anyway, as a result of not being able to ride it now, I've had to reevaluate what the heck I'm going to do. I have this $8,000 Emergency bill (friggin scans cost $4k, can you believe that crap... tell me that's not a racket!). So, of course I'm looking to sell what I can, including the bike. I'm not sure yet how that's going to go down yet, but it's looking that way. Okay... so back to the story...

I have passions and where would we be without them? A person without passions is only half a person. Anyway, I have a ton of passions, but the strongest one is to find a gal that'll hang out and watch movies with me on the couch, or go to walks in the park (like Foster Park?), or something mundane like going to a book store or window shopping at one of the malls). And, while I have had many girls that have started that way, it's been tough for me to find the right girl. Perhaps it's a factor of who I look at and take chances on, I don't know, but Lady Luck doesn't seem to find me that often. However, I don't give up and it's because I have been unlucky and yet a survivor. For me to survive it so often, I've come to realize that Hope is the Air I Breathe. Sex is great (either hot and sweaty with bodies writhing in oily masses, or soft and sensory-rich), but this to me is 5% of what I need. The other 95% is the Love & Companionship. However, because I will not accept compromises just for the sake of loneliness I'm bound to a journey of futility and disappointment, punctuated by brief moments of relief when there is a glimmer of hope that shines through the blackened void that has become this life line of mine. And it's when I reflect on this that I recognize what it means to me. Hope for me is like a glass of water to a man in a desert.

I realize that I have been banished to a life of futile efforts and directed down roads I should not go and I continue to do it not because it's the smart thing to do. I do it knowing fully well that the likelihood of failure is pretty strong. However, without the effort hope can never be anything more than potential without effort. If I don't take a chance it may not realize itself again and I'll not have anyone to blame but myself and I'm not so keen on wallowing in self-pity any longer than I have to. It's the idiot part of me in the back of my head that lives on hope, ever pushing itself to the front and ignoring probabilities and likelihoods. It is the foolish part of me that fights against the storm and refuses to give in to logic. The day I stop hoping is the day my passion dies and the day it dies I die.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Eve Online - Faction Warfare Missioning

Basics: Gain ISK and LP by completing and turning in missions. Missions are against npc's (non-player "rats"). They generally involve destroying an object (like a reactor), or a head honcho rat (like a Sector Commander). With ISK you can purchase whatever you need off the Eve markets. LP you use to purchase items in your corporations Loyalty Points Store (LP = Loyalty Points). How lucrative is mission running? It depends on the tier the faction is at in the warzone. If you complete 20 missions, you should on average at Tier 3 get a payout of about 40 million ISK and 450K-550K LP. At about 700 ISK/LP that translates to about 350 mil. ISK. At Tier 4, those same missions completed should pay out 650k-850k LP. This would translate to about 550 mil. ISK. What do I use to run missions? Current doctrine suggests that if you're Amarr fighting against Minmatar, the best ship to use on Level 3 and 4 missions is a Stealth Bomber called the Hound . You can stay at range...
2 comments
Read more

Stone and Rain

Commentary: Summer 2006 Let me cast a picture and invite you in... Close your eyes and I'll describe what you see. Keep your eyes closed. If you were to open your eyes you would see hills and valleys, green with eagerness and youth, obscured at random with misted veils or small stoned pathways, winding at random like streams and brooks. Tiny arched wooden bridges punctuate here or there... but before you is a pond that a good stone can be thrown across, it is so small. The water is shallow, and clear, and cool to the touch. The bottom is of tiny smooth stones. In the middle is a large flat round stone, carved by man, reached by a curved path of flat round white stones spaced so that a single step is taken on each to the shore. You kneel on the edge of this flat stone, and if you opened your eyes and looked into the water below, you would see small orange fish with large wavy fins gracefully and slowly gliding this way and that, waving their fins proudly like flags. Keep you...
Post a Comment
Read more

Eve Online: FW - Why Choose 60 Squadron?

If you're a newbro Faction Warfare can be overwhelming. You came for various reasons from meeting up with and hanging around a bunch of guys (or gals) and make some friends, to get into some pvp action, or find a means of making ISK. The more you learn about Eve the more you find how expansive the environment is. What we can do for you What is your primary reason for joining Faction Warfare? If it's to get into fights, there's always pvp opportunities and small roaming fleets available. If it's to learn fleet operations, several times a week small and medium-sized fleets are organizing. Our fleets tend to be either frigates or destroyers as they are cheap and you'll lose a lot of them, but in the meantime you'll get into a lot of fights and in so doing will learn and become better at pvp and fleet ops. We sometimes venture into wormholes and at other times we may venture into high-sec for ops there. Primarily, our focus is on the Ammar/Minmatar warzone. Th...
Post a Comment
Read more