Flinging Poo

Note: Written in 2005? It is a piece rather ripe with self-pity, but as it was done in a melancholy mood in a melancholy time, it is not surprising. There is a saying that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I used to be a big believer in that. Lately, I've begun to feel this may not be the case, and that it may be more a hindrance than anything else. I've had many nights where I've met gals and between happenstance or a few drinks we've wound up making out, sometimes naked, and always with passion. These have been moments where for brief moments I feel a togetherness that may just be lust, but I feel somehow whole and complete. I've had several girl friends. Generally, they've lasted two or three months. During these times there are moments of great passion and extreme feelings. A sense of togetherness was there. I suppose there was no thought of tomorrow, or plans for the future, because perhaps a part of me felt that I had to

Commentary: Summer 2006. I've been around awhile, and I've made choices in my life that have led to where I am today. For one reason or another I have a Bachelors degree, but not a Masters or PhD. I have a job that pays the bills, but not enough to feel comfortable and secure. I have had girl friends and wives, behind me now and apart from me. They are in my memories. I have no one that stays a bit and braids their time and memories with mine. I have seen my best and brightest years behind me and for society, my greatest future contribution will be the taxes I add. This is because I have been systematically emasculated. When I was young the world was new and everything in it exciting and wondrous. I took walks in the forest and listened to brooks bubble, watched beavers making homes, deer chew bark off of trees, and saw fish swimming upstream in shallow streams. I watched barren lakes frozen over, the snow blowing this way and that, tracing patterns on pristine snow-covered ic