When we as adults engage in sexual activity with children around, we have to be careful when and where we do it, and we have to be relatively quiet about it. We tend to do it when the kids are nowhere around or are sound asleep. Even then, we tend to be quiet for fear they may hear us. The results is that many (most, perhaps), adults engage in sexual activity far less than they'd like and when they do it's less satisfying because they have to restrain themselves from vocalizing their euphoria.
Thinking outside the box, this is silly! More, it's no wonder we tend to be sexually frustrated. How the heck did the children get here if not for it? It's sillier still when you realize that this whole thing is a more recent phenomena. For the last ten thousand years (excluding the last few hundred), sex was always done in front of children because a household slept in a single room. Excluding the wealthy, we were all still doing it until the Industrial Revolution created a middle class and tenements where the poor poured into cities and lived. Until then, only the rich slept apart. Do you think because we were modern human beings that we didn't have sex in front of our kids? We would have died out long ago, if so.
What I'm saying is it's a social thing. It's 'gross' and 'improper' now because we've been told by our peers and Ann Landers and everyone that it is. In a sense, we practice deceit. As soon as we grow up and move out we soon learn the truth: Sex is at the heart of very strong emotions and allows us to reach deep inside ourselves on many levels (including primordial urgings), and express them. The more freely we can express them the truly more happy we are. You can quantify it in very concrete terms. It can even be expressed mathematically: The amount of felicity gained from sex is inversely proportional to the amount of personal and societal restraint imposed on the self.
Let's be honest with one another. If my boys had seen me and the women I've been with have sex all along and it was viewed as a natural part of their life, the most they'd do is bang on the wall and tell us to be quiet because they can't get to sleep. Why should we be quiet? We're happy. We're enjoying ourselves and each other in the purest and most honest way possible; through sex. I might even suggest that with a little more noise there'd be less need for sex games and pillow talk. I think these are often needed to act as counter balance to the restriction of having to be quiet for fear our kids hear us moan, or a fear they'll happen to open the door and catch us 'doing it'.
When did sex become dirty? Why should it be? Some people have different sexual mores than mine, but does that make them worse or better than I? I don't think so. Some people find most natural expression of their sexual interests with members of the same sex. Some people like both sexes. Why should they worry about their jobs because of something having nothing at all to do with their effectiveness in doing those jobs?
How about swingers? I think the impression there is that people that swing aren't happy with who they're with. I don't believe that at all. I don't think they could swing unless they trusted and loved who they were with enough to do it. If you love and trust a person so much that you wish only happiness and excitement for your loved one... that isn't so bad, is it? I think swinging shows trust like nothing else. When your partner lets you have some sort of relations with another person, they do it trusting you in the extreme, and vice versa. There could be perhaps no better proof or expression of trust, and by extension: love. That sounds odd, but I've met a few swingers and they invariably seem to have deep emotional ties to their mate.
Infedelity. Could it be possible that the person we once were excited by doesn't quite do it for us anymore? Why is that? I might suggest that daily life intrudes, and the little things that used to excite us about them gets pushed to the side for one reason or another. People do change in a relationship, partly because they don't want to lose what they have and change behaviour that they feel might endanger that. The truth is usually the opposite. If you take away what someone is excited about and what drew that person to you (at least in part), and the daily life pushes intimacy aside, is it a wonder that infidelity is contemplated? Just a thought. Perhaps it's sexual restriction when we felt there wasn't so much at first, is a culprit. For myself, I'm lucky enough that my sex life is exciting enough that this is not a concern for me.
So, what is this "sex" thing? It's who we are. It should be the most free thing about us. We lead hurried, sometimes frustrating, but always too-short lives. Why must we be continually bound and restricted from the one thing that's free and therapeutic and allows us to forget our busy lives and be completely happy for a small span of time? If the kids have a problem with the noise, tell them to put a pillow over their ears or put some headphones on and listen to music. Gosh, let's live already! I want the freedom to shout things out about my woman to the world and hope everyone hears! I'm not ashamed, I'm excited by her. I'm turned on by her. Why is that such a bad thing?
Thinking outside the box, this is silly! More, it's no wonder we tend to be sexually frustrated. How the heck did the children get here if not for it? It's sillier still when you realize that this whole thing is a more recent phenomena. For the last ten thousand years (excluding the last few hundred), sex was always done in front of children because a household slept in a single room. Excluding the wealthy, we were all still doing it until the Industrial Revolution created a middle class and tenements where the poor poured into cities and lived. Until then, only the rich slept apart. Do you think because we were modern human beings that we didn't have sex in front of our kids? We would have died out long ago, if so.
What I'm saying is it's a social thing. It's 'gross' and 'improper' now because we've been told by our peers and Ann Landers and everyone that it is. In a sense, we practice deceit. As soon as we grow up and move out we soon learn the truth: Sex is at the heart of very strong emotions and allows us to reach deep inside ourselves on many levels (including primordial urgings), and express them. The more freely we can express them the truly more happy we are. You can quantify it in very concrete terms. It can even be expressed mathematically: The amount of felicity gained from sex is inversely proportional to the amount of personal and societal restraint imposed on the self.
Let's be honest with one another. If my boys had seen me and the women I've been with have sex all along and it was viewed as a natural part of their life, the most they'd do is bang on the wall and tell us to be quiet because they can't get to sleep. Why should we be quiet? We're happy. We're enjoying ourselves and each other in the purest and most honest way possible; through sex. I might even suggest that with a little more noise there'd be less need for sex games and pillow talk. I think these are often needed to act as counter balance to the restriction of having to be quiet for fear our kids hear us moan, or a fear they'll happen to open the door and catch us 'doing it'.
When did sex become dirty? Why should it be? Some people have different sexual mores than mine, but does that make them worse or better than I? I don't think so. Some people find most natural expression of their sexual interests with members of the same sex. Some people like both sexes. Why should they worry about their jobs because of something having nothing at all to do with their effectiveness in doing those jobs?
How about swingers? I think the impression there is that people that swing aren't happy with who they're with. I don't believe that at all. I don't think they could swing unless they trusted and loved who they were with enough to do it. If you love and trust a person so much that you wish only happiness and excitement for your loved one... that isn't so bad, is it? I think swinging shows trust like nothing else. When your partner lets you have some sort of relations with another person, they do it trusting you in the extreme, and vice versa. There could be perhaps no better proof or expression of trust, and by extension: love. That sounds odd, but I've met a few swingers and they invariably seem to have deep emotional ties to their mate.
Infedelity. Could it be possible that the person we once were excited by doesn't quite do it for us anymore? Why is that? I might suggest that daily life intrudes, and the little things that used to excite us about them gets pushed to the side for one reason or another. People do change in a relationship, partly because they don't want to lose what they have and change behaviour that they feel might endanger that. The truth is usually the opposite. If you take away what someone is excited about and what drew that person to you (at least in part), and the daily life pushes intimacy aside, is it a wonder that infidelity is contemplated? Just a thought. Perhaps it's sexual restriction when we felt there wasn't so much at first, is a culprit. For myself, I'm lucky enough that my sex life is exciting enough that this is not a concern for me.
So, what is this "sex" thing? It's who we are. It should be the most free thing about us. We lead hurried, sometimes frustrating, but always too-short lives. Why must we be continually bound and restricted from the one thing that's free and therapeutic and allows us to forget our busy lives and be completely happy for a small span of time? If the kids have a problem with the noise, tell them to put a pillow over their ears or put some headphones on and listen to music. Gosh, let's live already! I want the freedom to shout things out about my woman to the world and hope everyone hears! I'm not ashamed, I'm excited by her. I'm turned on by her. Why is that such a bad thing?
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